doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I would ride that face into the sunset
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize