Jerry, you need to find god
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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