So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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