a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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