Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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