Sry I called you an 8
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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