Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
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He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
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He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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