there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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