YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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