theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I came so hard my ears popped.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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