This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize