He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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