You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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