is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize