is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize