You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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