What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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