....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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