remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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