And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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