If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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