Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
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Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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