She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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