he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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