Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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