My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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