I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize