Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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