its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Randomize