If that was your dad, he is hot
Non-Jews are for practice
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize