I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My feet surprised me
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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