Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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