There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the knife in your bed.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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