By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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