Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm passing your future prison.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
pray to the hookup gods
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize