im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize