Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
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I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
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How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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