i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize