the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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