chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize