Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I've blown a few things in my day
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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