Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize