Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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