What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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