jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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