omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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