I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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