after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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