I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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