i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Damn victory sex feels great
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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